Dear friends,
I have been pleasantly surprised in my first six weeks with
Renee how easy it has been to access everywhere we've needed to go. Not once
has a waitress, store owner, or well-meaning citizen even questioned whether or
not Renee could be in a particular place. By law, any place open to the public
is accessible to service dogs. Renee has been in airplanes, cabs, restaurants,
churches, schools, and stores with no concerns.
I recently, however, received my first rejection. I will
certainly not go into detail about the event in which I am writing to protect
the well-intending person who communicated with me. I do, however, find this
issue very important and believe it's crucial for others to hear about the
situation.
I was planning to attend an event out of town. The event was
something that I promised some people that I dearly care about that I would
attend. I made this commitment months ago. I recently confirmed with the event
coordinator that I would be attending with my Seeing Eye Dog. I am not required
to disclose such information but did so as a courtesy. The coordinator is
someone I know fairly well. I assumed that this would not be an issue.
I just received word yesterday that while I am welcome to
attend the event, my dog is not allowed to come. Many reasons were listed
including dog allergies, potential fears of dogs, and that my dog would
distract from the event. In short, my dog would be an inconvenience for the
attendees. To support her claims, since the coordinator knows me, she suggested
that I have enough vision to attend the event without my dog.
There are so many issues with this situation that it's hard
to know where to start. I am going to set aside the fact that this response is
actually illegal, since although it's true, I have no intention of taking legal
action. Instead, I aim to use this difficult and honestly painful situation as
an educational moment.
The issues are sort of divided into two groups: convenience
and assumption. Suggesting that my dog's presence at the event would make
things difficult for others made me think a bit. Yes, it's possible that
attendees might be allergic to Renee. It's also possible that attendees have
developed a fear of dogs for one reason or another. Still, the reality of
either of these situations simply cannot imply that I should be the one
excluded.
Here's why: Someone with an allergy can overcome his or her
challenges by avoiding my dog. This situation occurred on a flight from Seattle
about two weeks ago when Renee and I were returning home from a law school
interview. Another passenger was concerned about being in a tight space for a
long flight while she had allergies to dogs. This problem was easily solved by
seating us at opposite ends of the plane. The other issue of fear is also one
that can be dealt with by staying away or overcoming that fear. I will also say
that Renee couldn't hurt a fly if she tried!
The biggest difference between the concerns addressed here
and the reality of my situation is that my problem has a fix as well... It just
happens to have four legs and a tail. I can't attend an event like this and get
around crowds of people without bumping into things, except when I have Renee.
It's also not about convenience. We can't think that way. I
realize that it might seem annoying to a select few for me to have my dog, but
let's be honest here. Being blind isn't convenient either. Neither is having a
dog! None of this is about convenience. Life isn't about convenience. It's
about finding ways to allow all people to access life to the fullest together.
I'll also add that if an event is done well, which I'm sure
this one will be, my dog will not be the main attraction. Yes, people will see
her. They might even want to pet her when they can't. But she is well-behaved
and calm in every situation. She is trained to be as invisible as possible.
There is also a helpful sign on her harness that reads, "Ignore me. I am a
working guide dog." I work very hard to pay little attention to Renee when
I'm with others. I go about my normal business. This minimizes her presence and
allows others to carry on. The worst thing that could happen is that someone
learns about diversity by seeing my ability to attend an event like this
because of the abilities my dog gives me.
Okay, now let's get to the second issue regarding
assumption. If you think I'm passionate about the convenience issue, just you
wait. This is a huge moment for everyone. I need to be reminded of this as
well. Never ever assume you know what it's like for someone else, especially
someone with a disability. Never assume that you know what a deaf person can
hear, how far a person with limited mobility can walk, how much a person with a
cognitive impairment can learn, or how much a blind person can see.
This goes both ways. You shouldn't assume too much or too
little. A lot of people underestimate the abilities of people with labeled
impairments, which limits them even more. But as in this situation, many people
also overestimate the abilities of others. I think this is most common with people
like me who have hidden disabilities, ones that aren't very obvious.
The reality is that I do need Renee. I need her when
crossing the busy streets to get to the event. I need her to navigate through
the crowds of people at the event. I would not have gone through the intense
admissions process to train at The Seeing Eye, nor would I have been accepted
if I didn't truly need Renee. I need her to help me, and I shouldn't have to
prove anything to anyone in order to gain access with her. The advocates who
have gone before me already proved everything necessary to pass laws like the
Americans with Disabilities Act. Case closed.
The other issue about leaving her at home is more of the
philosophy behind our team. We go together! With the exception of loud fireworks
or concerts, she goes everywhere with me. The second I start to think about
going without her, I take her responsibility away. That's not fair to her, to
leave her home just because I'm too concerned about what people might think in
a given situation. It's also unfair to me, to feel like I might not be accepted
because I have a service dog.
While I will certainly continue to respect this individual,
I cannot express in words how heartbroken I am. To think that someone would not
invite or accept me just because I have a dog is both ridiculous and painful. I
could force the person to allow me to attend this event with Renee, since it is
my legal right to attend with her. This is an issue of discrimination. I care
too much about our relationship to do that. But I think there's a huge sense of
loss here.
There is loss on both sides. I lose out on the chance to
attend a really cool event. I also must abandon my commitment to those I
promised I'd attend, something that truly kills me. But they lose, too. The
people I know at the event miss out on sharing the experience with me, and the
other attendees miss the opportunity to have a representation of true
diversity.
I want to encourage everyone to have inclusive minds. Don't
reject someone because you're too concerned to deal with issues that might
arise. Don't let your fears limit others. Although it was my dog who was
directly rejected, I was rejected, too. I have been rejected because of my
disability. Really, someone else's inability to follow both legal and moral
reasoning makes my disability even stronger in this situation. I'll get over
this someday, but the chance to engage with others at this event will be missed
forever.
Regretfully Yours,
Sara Conrad
Hello Friend!
Not all people are like these wonderful humans. On one of
our other flights, the woman sitting next to my mom glared at me a lot. She was
obviously disturbed that I was riding on the plane. I wasn't terribly thrilled
that she was there either, but at least I kept my opinions to myself.
Some people are really awkward when I enter a restaurant or
store. They stare at me as if I don't belong. Others stare out of love. I don't
really mind the attention, but I do wish they'd be a little more subtle. I'm
trying really hard to be as invisible as possible. That's how I'm trained. I
mean I'm totally cute and fabulous, so I understand that people are going to
react to my stunning looks and charming personality, but let's see if we can
tone things down a bit, ok ? Don't feel the need to announce to the whole room
that there's a dog. Trust me. I'm unmistakable and unforgettable.
